Easier said than done? Well it is for me anyway.

I’m a control freak……….and I think that sometimes serves me well. When we’re building, planning, budgeting and delivering the health, development, education and water projects that are our reason for being in Uganda then keeping control of the money that I’ve earned or you’ve trusted me with is vital. Since I returned to the UK 3 long months ago I’ve been purposefully avoiding working out what I’ve managed to earn towards the next projects in Uganda. I just feel that my weekly plotting, planning, calculating and worrying is wrong: that if I really believe in the God that I have chosen to follow then I should, ‘Let go and let God’, as the good Christians tell me I should. Whilst most of them do very little because they haven’t got the funds. Aaaaagggghhhhh! So where’s the flipping balance? Where do we let God and where do we do it ourselves?

And the answer has just come to me. We do something that I’ve quoted at people endlessly although not for a while. ‘Live as if it all depends on you. Pray as if it all depends on God.’ And I like that because it’s true: if God gives us free will then we have to choose to work hard, long and wisely to build his kingdom here on earth. And if he is in control then we need to be asking him for his permission, blessing, provision and protection in prayer. So that’s that then.

Nearly. I am very conscious of the fact that even that saying makes the same mistake that Christians across the world make daily. It assumes the Greek/Roman Christian understanding of God – NOT the God that Jesus was, knew or taught about. I only recently found this out – the whole ‘God up in heaven, mankind down on earth; separation’ thing is what the ancient Greeks, Romans and self-serving religious people (aka the Church) did to Jesus’s God. That is not the understanding that Jesus or the Hebrew people had of their Lord. Indeed, on the basis that God became man in Jesus that’s a complete nonsense. The Jews believed that God was everywhere and always with them. And when I thought about this: so do I.

And so, as I spend the next 5 weeks trying to make the extra £20,000 that I need (in addition to what I’ve already earned) to allow us to build the ‘Hospital in the Hills’, I’m going to live as if it all depends on me and God the Spirit who walks alongside me, in front of me and behind me – as I deafen him with my cries for help.

The view from the 'Hospital in the Hills'