Our children at the J10:10 House – created for just such a time as this

I wrote last week about how easy it would be to resign from J10:10 – to quit. Now that J1010 has become all grown up and is a registered charity I’m always a little nervous of saying what I think the way that I naturally say it. I wrote this particular raw and very honest blog because I felt that God wanted me to be me – brutally honest and hopelessly flawed. Though a good deal less flawed then when I came back to Jesus eight and a bit years ago.

This morning I received an email from a blog follower that stunned me into silence and pricked some tears in the back of my eyes. It was encouragement that I didn’t expect and praise that I don’t deserve. I won’t re-publish it in full because it was private and because some of the praise makes me blush (yes that is possible) and because I just won’t but it included the following lines –

Your blog (“I Resign”) about wanting to quit spoke to me. The way Jesus uses you to do His work and the way you express yourself encourages me. I thank God for you.

The rest of the email made it clear that what I wrote spoke directly into my correspondent’s heart and situation. And I don’t know him. And it wasn’t me. But God graciously used me to speak to this child of His whom He loves.

I recently read the book of Esther in my bible. There are times when I despair because the responsibility of being administratively, financially and pastorally responsible for more than 150 kids, 14 full-time staff, several families, a medical centre, hospital construction, 88,000 litres of water in our tanks and several other children of my mighty God is more than I can bear – and way more than I am capable of. And one of the things that keeps me going is that if I don’t do this work – who the hell will? And in that statement of fear there is the danger of pride. So I loved it when I read this in Esther 4:13-14:

Mordecai sent this reply to Esther. “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place…..who knows if you were made queen for just such a time as this?”

I’m not queen, I don’t for a moment think that my work in Kigazi and Kabale is as important as saving God’s chosen people but I loved the line, ‘If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place.’ Because it reminds me that ‘God is no man’s debtor.’ He doesn’t need me to do this work – if He wants it doing then He’ll find someone else. And you know what? They’ll probably do it better. And quicker. And with less explosions of temper.

But as I see the difference that God has made in the lives of the children in the J10:10 House, in Michelle’s life, in Millie and Amulle’s lives, in our Nursery (His Nursery) and the medical centre (amongst other things) I suspect that, in all my imperfection, perhaps, just perhaps, I was made for such a time as this. In such a place as this.

How about you? What does God want you to say, do, write or pray today? Who knows if YOU were made for just such a time as this – wherever you are. Listen – He’s speaking to you now: His is the still, small voice at the centre of your being. Listen, hear and obey. It’ll be the perfect thing for you. It’s why you were created. Isn’t it?